My Peers Annotated Bibliographies

I read two of my peers annotated bibliographies and honestly they were both so differnet and they were both at very different places in their work. Overall they both need some work, especially in their third paragraphs , but they all have great potential !

Jaden: "Disordered Eating Behavior, Body Image, and Energy Status of Female Student Dancers."

The first peer that I read did her first annotated bibliography pretty well. However, she had some difficulties during her second paragraph. I felt as if she didn't add enough details about the article so when she added her quotation it was just sitting in the paragraph. I recommended that she found a better way to introduce that quote. We learned in class that this is one of the things that you never want to do in you're writing. However she did do a good job showing a clear thesis.

Jaden: " Influence of Perfectionism on Variables Associated to Eating Disorders in Dance Students."

In this annotation you could tell that Jaden has alot to improve. I wrote detailed things to change on her second and third paragraphs. For example, I stated that she needed to support the second paragraph with more details so that the readers know what the article is about. However, she did do a great job in her first paragraph and gave credit to the authors and proved that it was a scholarly article.

Jadens citation for her second annotated bib:

Arcelus, Jon, et al. "Influence of Perfectionism on Variables Associated to Eating Disorders in Dance Students." ["INFLUENCIA DEL PERFECCIONISMO EN VARIABLES RELACIONADAS CON TRASTORNOS ALIMENTARIOS EN ESTUDIANTES DE DANZA"]. Revista De Psicología Del Deporte, vol. 24, no. 2, July 2015, pp. 297-303. EBSCOhost, login.proxy.lib.fsu.edu/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=109283444&site=eds-live.

Emmanuelle: "5 Things That Make It Hard To Be A Black Student At A Mostly White College"

In this annotation Emmanuelle did a pretty good job. In her first paragraph the only thing that I suggested was that she should take out a sentence. And in the second she has to add a quote to back up what she is saying about the different subtitles of the article. However, in the third paragraph of this annotated bibliography she only added the weaknesses of this article. I recommended that she adds a specific article to link this one to so that she would get full credit.

Emmanuelle: “The Need Still Exists for Black Student Unions”

In this annotated bib she made a the same mistakes in the third paragraph by only including the weaknesses so I suggested to connect it to another article. However, her second paragraph was really nicely done and I suggested that if needed for word count she could add a little more details, but it was good overall! Another suggestion I had was to make sure that her thesis was clear in the first paragraph so that the readers were a little less confused.